The Daily Beast’s refreshingly avowed misandrist Samantha Allen has apparently taken it upon herself to police the sexualities of gay men in her recent column, “‘No Blacks’ Is Not a Sexual Preference. It’s Racism”
In order to frame gay men with racial and ethnic preferences in sexual partners as racist, she invokes language reminiscent of the civil rights movement with the implied imagery of water cannons and attack dogs unleashed to savage people who simply wanted black folks to enjoy the same rights and privileges of citizenship as white folks:
If you’re a gay man, phrases like “no blacks” and “no Asians” aren’t just words that you’d find on old signs in a civil rights museum, they are an unavoidable and current feature of your online dating experience. On gay dating apps like Grindr and Scruff, some men post blunt and often offensive disclaimers on their profiles such as “no oldies,” “no fems,” and “no fatties.” Among the most ubiquitous are racial disclaimers like “no blacks” and “no Asians,” which are most frequently posted by white men but, as Edwards’s case proves, not always.
Those who deploy these disclaimers defend themselves from accusations of “racism” by claiming that they merely have “preferences” for certain races over others. Wrote one gay blogger, “Don’t tell me I can’t have a preference! I don’t want to have sex with women. No hard feelings. Does that make me a misogynist?”
It wouldn’t surprise me in the least to hear the social justice types accuse gay men of misogyny for not being attracted to women. That aside, there is no sexual equivalent of Bull Connor here (and no, Samantha Allen, you don’t have the power or the right to tell people whom they can and cannot find sexually appealing). There are instead particular nuances of Grindr, Scruff, and other hookup apps which Allen seemingly fails to capture or perhaps doesn’t care to. Such apps attract use from people in moments when they’re most motivated by sex who tend to succumb to what turns them on sexually. If they tend to sexually gravitate towards black people, they seek out black people. If they tend to sexually gravitate towards white people, they seek out white people. The reverse also tends to be true for non-attraction when one simply seeks a quick shag. I somehow suspect that Allen and others like her wouldn’t have a problem with people who said “No Whites” on their hookup profiles.
People may react differently to those who don’t check off a lot of blocks in any given person’s “attractive” column if the relationship was deeper than a quick hookup. One could prefer Hispanics sexually, but wouldn’t hesitate to date whites, Asians, or African-Americans because they connect in many ways and on multiple levels more complicated than a simple one-off sexual encounter. This kind of nuance seems lost to people like Allen. Perhaps she knows better but dismisses it for the expedience of grievance-fishing?
Whatever the case may be, yes, some gay men do put “no oldies,” “no fems,” and “no fatties” on their hookup profiles, even if they themselves have more than a little grey in their hair, have enough sugar in their tank to turn a car into a diabetic, and who are built like a semi; there are others who openly seek out older men, lust after effeminate men and love larger guys.
It would be silly to accuse the lot of “ageism”, of whatever the term for alleged bigotry specifically against effeminate men is, or “fatphobia”. It’s just as silly to accuse people with racial/ethnic preferences of “racism”; people are attracted to whom they are and not attracted to who they aren’t, and you can’t change that by the barrel of a gun or by the tweets of immense and widespread public shaming by Social Justice Warriors.
Being generally attracted to particular races/ethnicities and generally not others on a sexual level alone is not racist and such a claim is a manipulative attempt to police people on one of their most fundamentally intimate levels. Doing so is also pointless because you can’t force, defame, shame, or socially blackmail people into being attracted to those to whom they normally aren’t.
Let’s also face the fact that those particularly on the authoritarian sectors of the left, especially non-gay men who evidently see fit to police gay male sexuality as Samantha Allen does, would never tolerate similar policing of lesbian female sexuality in this way. Doing so would invite accusations of “mysogyny” and “harassment” so predictable, you could almost set a watch by it.
It’s unhelpful and wrong to casually and simply label racial/ethnic preferences in sexual partners as racist without bothering to even attempt to explore and explain why those preferences exist. It’s also astonishingly invasive and reeks of an incredible sense of entitlement; calling someone racist for finding particular races and ethnicities more sexually appealing than others is eerily similar to suggesting to someone “if you don’t have sex with me/them, I will publicly smear you as a bigot”. It’s sexual blackmail with a politically correct edge to it.
We currently live in a time in which the professionally offended control the institutional high grounds on college campuses with an iron fist and occupy mainstream positions of power in the media (their grip is slipping, however, and those who’ve had enough of it are turning them back). It does not surprise me that people who’s ideologies lead them to think that invasive and manipulative social blackmail is an appropriate way to control human sexuality, would use those institutions and positions of power to openly tell you that you are horrible person for not being attracted to people whom they think you should be attracted to.
Lets also not forget that to SJWs, if you are attracted to a particular racial/ethnic type, you’re still a terrible person because that’s…wait for it…racist.
You just can’t win with people like these despite the very real fact that when it comes to human sexuality, preference is everything whether your ideology commands you to like that reality or not. What people find sexually appealing is something Social Justice Warriors can’t control. Ideology does not dictate sexuality.
Nobody should be able to force you, by threat of violence or threat of personal destruction by Twitter, to have sex with someone you don’t want to. Here’s another shocker — you can treat people who are different from you entirely fine with or without wanting to have sex with them. That nuance is also lost on people like Samantha Allen.